jokes page! (add your own)

Funny stuff, rants and general nonsense posted here. Get those youtube videos up!

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:04 pm

and u felt the need to add that why?
Image
Toyota - Moving forward, even when you dont want to!


User avatar
Aza
Admin


Posts: 336
Joined: Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:43 pm
Location: Coldingham
Drives: 'Scort GTi
Hobbies: Photography

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:10 pm

Because I wasted 5 minutes reading them all.

I meant not one of the car jokes the rest were quite good.


MagicAardvark
Member


Posts: 130
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 9:42 am
Drives: Seat Ibiza

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:52 pm

Have you every heard the saying "cant say nothing nice, don't say nothing at all!"
Gas Gibbons


User avatar
Gas
Member


Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Feb 18, 2010 10:49 pm
Drives: Seat Ibiza 1.4 MPI
Hobbies: Driving!

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Fri Mar 05, 2010 6:42 pm

whats better than winning the paraplegic 100m sprint?

having legs

whats better than winning the special olympics?

ICE CREAM(spoken in down syndrome voice)

how do you kill 25 flys?

hit an african in the face with a frying pan

knock knock
(whos there?)
not madeline mccann

just jokes i got told today at college.....
Image

I <3 DISH


User avatar
jamie
Moderator


Posts: 283
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:15 pm
Location: highmoooooooth
Drives: nothing just now :(

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:47 am

jamie wrote:whats better than winning the paraplegic 100m sprint?

having legs

whats better than winning the special olympics?

ICE CREAM(spoken in down syndrome voice)

how do you kill 25 flys?

hit an african in the face with a frying pan

knock knock
(whos there?)
not madeline mccann

just jokes i got told today at college.....



Trevors love song ..... jus cause u said about the ice cream


User avatar
vikkie
PR Girl


Posts: 37
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2010 4:01 pm
Location: Eyemouth
Drives: Ford KA =)

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:02 pm

You are in a car driving at a constant speed. To your left is a fire engine, in front is a galloping pig you cant overtake, behind is a hellicopter flyin at ground level and all are travellin at the same speed as you. what do you do to get out of this dangerous situation?

Get of the kids merry-go-round and act your age you big daft twat!!!


User avatar
clairecorsac
Member


Posts: 29
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:54 pm
Drives: Corsa C *woop*
Hobbies: Sex, Drink, Carz!

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:02 pm

Tramp walks into posh jewellers,pulls his pants down and starts fingering his arse..
Shop assistant shouts get out you dirty bastard..
Tramp says make your fucking mind up and points to the sign in the window..
'COME INSIDE AND PICK YOUR RING IN COMFORT.'


User avatar
joefiesta2009
Member


Posts: 38
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:51 pm
Drives: fiesta mk6
Hobbies: Cars, Girls, Drink

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Sat Jun 12, 2010 10:48 am

Homebase & B&Q are having a sale on Irish Garden Recliners.

Image


The Future of Nursary Rhymes


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.


It's Raining, It's Pouring
Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.


Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
And turned its wool to nylon.


Vento_Ewan
Member


Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2010 12:01 pm
Drives: car :p

Re: jokes page! (add your own)

Poston Sat Jun 12, 2010 10:49 am

Free BBQ





Summer 2006 is almost here. To celebrate this many supermarket stores are giving away free barbecues to all that can go and collect them.

You can get a free BBQ from any of the following stores.


· ASDA

· Morrisons

· Costco

· Kwik Save

· Somerfield

· Aldi

· Sainsbury

· Tesco

· Iceland

·
All BBQs come with a higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm!

PLEASE NOTE: Some stores may charge a **************£1 administration fee. **********


If you wish to see a picture of this product please click the following link :- )

http://s866.photobucket.com/albums/ab22 ... nt=bbq.jpg


Vento_Ewan
Member


Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2010 12:01 pm
Drives: car :p

Previous

Return to Random stuff

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB © 2007 phpBB Group